


Those That Chug Together Stay Together

by its_crystal_queer



Series: The Stomach Trials [6]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 1980s Era, 80s Era, Bloating, Burping, Chugging Contest, Coca Cola Chug, Coke Chug, Coke Chugging, Gen, Pre-Canon, Soda Drinking, Young Gems, both rosepearl and rosegreg are mentioned but not actually featured, chugging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:49:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7194080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_crystal_queer/pseuds/its_crystal_queer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why, oh why, did it have to be such a ridiculous contest? Even Garnet had shown up to witness it. Pearl was just extremely glad Rose wasn't here to watch her potentially humiliate herself. There was a reason she chose not to eat and drink, after all.<br/>“And what will you get out of winning?” she enquired, narrowing her eyes.<br/>Greg's eyes narrowed, but his smile widened.<br/>“The satisfaction of being right.”<br/>Pearl rolled her eyes. That much didn't need to be spelled out for her.</p><p>(Pearl never backs down from a challenge, and Greg is willing to hold her to that.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those That Chug Together Stay Together

**Author's Note:**

> So it's been a long as hell time but the kink fics have returned  
> I blame ao3/tumblr user brites for inspiring this soda chugging fic

Why was she doing this, again? Pearl couldn't fathom.

“This is ridiculous,” she grumbled. Greg Universe grinned at her sour expression.

“You can just admit your defeat now and save us all the trouble, you know. Remind us again, Amethyst, why we're about to do this?”

“Pearl said she could beat you at anything,” Amethyst said gleefully. “And you challenged her to this instead of something she's actually good at.”

“Amethyst!” hissed Pearl. She stared down at the offending adversary in her hand, her true enemy to beat tonight as opposed to Greg: a two litre bottle of... 'coca-cola'. Just great.

“Hey, you said you could take it,” Greg said with a shrug. “The rules are simple: we chug. First one to down it all wins the challenge.”

Why, oh why, did it have to be such a ridiculous contest? Even Garnet had shown up to witness it. Pearl was just extremely glad Rose wasn't here to watch her potentially humiliate herself. There was a _reason_ she chose not to eat and drink, after all.

“And what will _you_ get out of winning?” she enquired, narrowing her eyes.

Greg's eyes narrowed, but his smile widened.

“The satisfaction of being right.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. That much didn't need to be spelled out for her.

“Ridiculous.”

“What, you're chickening out?” Greg was pushing her buttons, sure, but she knew by this point that he was a nice enough person to drop it if Pearl's heart really wasn't set on it. But right now the need to succeed, a need that had become almost instinct after thousands of years of having something to prove, was more pressing than her comfort zone.

“No way am I losing to the likes of you,” she said sharply, and uncapped her bottle. The sharp hiss that errupted urged her to backpedal immediately, but Greg grinned encouragingly and uncapped his too.

“All right. Amethyst, if you'll do the honours.”

Amethyst grinned. “On the count of three! Three-”

Both lifted their bottles to their lips.

“Two-”

If Pearl had a heartbeat it would be beating like a drum. She double-checked that she had definitely designed an adequate digestive system. Thankfully, she had been thorough.

“One-”

There was a flicker of uncertainty in her gut that she quickly squashed when Amethyst yelled, “GO!!” and hastily she tilted up the bottle, spying Greg following suit from the corner of her eye.

The soda _hurt_ like hell, filling up her mouth with sickly acidic sweetness and fizzing, practically burning her throat as she took her first gulp. It hurt to down, too, hard lumps of soda travelling down and splashing into her stomach. The sensation of eating and drinking was uncomfortable enough without the speed and intensity of chugging, and Amethyst's continuous chant of, “Chug, chug, chug!!” was hardly helping. Her nose was burning too, like licks of fire were travelling up from her throat and fizzing through her nostrils. The face she was making must have been priceless, because Amethyst was hooting with laughter. She daren't even look at Garnet right now.

She could feel her stomach beginning to bloat out, like a water balloon gradually being pumped up. She was certain Greg had noticed too, because she heard his mouth pop away from the rim of the bottle, a stunned voice murmur, “Holy smokes,” before he was cut off by a loud, sharp burp.

 _Damn._ This stuff was... carbonated? The type of drinks with the small bubbles in. That would explain the extensive fizzing, at least. Oh, Pearl hated 'burping' – she tensed up every time Amethyst or Greg did it, and even sweet, lovely Rose could make her flinch with the ferocity of her belches if she decided to eat more than an average amount of food for one human meal. She had fortunately managed to stay away from experiencing such a dreadful thing firsthand for thousands of years (there had been one incident, with some unidentifiable mushrooms Rose had picked during their early days on Earth, that had given her the most terrible indigestion she had ever fathomed, and had thus put her off of eating and drinking for life). To think she was about to experience it once again filled her with dread.

Greg was back in the game again, she could hear the faint sound of him gulping down mouthful after mouthful of amber liquid, and when she cracked an eye open she saw small trickles of it were running down from his mouth onto his chin, dripping onto damp patches being made on his shirt. She didn't require oxygen, but it was becoming tiring still drinking (she had already managed to down almost half of the bottle in this time) and she readily pulled away, popping her thin lips away from the bottle and heaving as almost an entire litre of bubbling soda threatened to make a reappearance. Her belly was bulging out strangely, looking like an odd pregnancy on her lithe frame, and she understood now why Greg was so bewildered by the sight. It was a simple fact that pearls weren't designed for eating or drinking, certainly not in excess like this challenge promoted, so of course it looked odd, especially to a human!

She gasped, a heaving breath wracking her whole body, sounding like she was crying, and Amethyst stopped laughing for a moment just to gape. Though Garnet's eyes were hidden behind her visor, Pearl could tell from the way that her fists were clenched that she was concerned, and ready to intervene if Pearl ended up... expelling. She _wanted_ to cry, just at the very idea of it, but mercifully no vomit came up and the only thing that resulted from her lurching stomach was a tight, deep belch that tore out of her, sounding more akin to a noise a corrupted gem creature would make as its swansong than a dainty pearl who had swallowed too much soda.

Her throat burned from the burp, and her eyes also watered. She was aware that Greg had stopped drinking, stifling a burp as his gaze burned into her. Pearl could also feel the curious, if not slightly worried stares from Garnet and Amethyst. Amethyst was the first to speak.

“Holy crap.”

Pearl whimpered, unnerved by their scrutiny, “It's – it's not over yet.”

Greg spoke up.

“Are you, ah... going to be okay?” This was punctuated with another soft belch into his hand, and it was slightly comforting at least that she wasn't the only one suffering right now. “Rose mentioned you didn't like to eat or drink much, but-”

“I'm fine!”

She knew he was only trying to help (why was it so difficult to hate him for being like this when it should have been so easy?) and that only made it worse. Her face burned, and she took a few more deep breaths, more to calm herself down than anything. Hurt flickered on his face, and he shot back, “Fine, lets finish this!”

He lifted his bottle back up, and as Amethyst and Garnet looked on, unsure of whether to put an end to the bizarre competition or not, Pearl joined in, tilting her bottle back and beginning to drink. It was nauseating and horrible and her stomach was roiling with bubbles and fizzing air, and the taste would surely never leave her mouth after drinking so much. Pearl was fighting back tears at this point. Whatever she thought would come from winning such a silly competition, it was definitely not worth it in the long run. But, she was already feeling nauseous and bloated beyond belief, so the least she could do was gain the satisfaction of victory for all Greg Universe and his ridiculous bet had put her through.

Once again, Amethyst was chanting, and both Greg and Pearl seemed more determined than ever not to lose the challenge. In the end, though, it was inevitable that a gem who could shapeshift a large stomach capacity would be able to complete the challenge faster, even if Greg had won chugs before. That wasn't to say the victory tasted all that sweet after all, however.

“And the victor is,” Amethyst boomed, “The one, the only... Pierogi of the Crystal Gems!”

She didn't even have the heart to correct the silly nickname.

The bottle, once empty, slipped from her fingertips and clattered onto the sand below. Pearl hardly noticed. Her stomach was really aching, the liquid in her gut pounding painfully with each cramp, and she was breathing heavily, bending over with her hands pressing down into her thighs. She must have looked ridiculous at this very moment. Her stomach was turning, churning, and she knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable – either burps or spit up – came, neither sounding anything short of horrifying.

“Stars,” she breathed, another nauseous belch gurgling out. She clamped a hand over her mouth, fighting back the urge to be sick, the dread rising up, up, and mercifully back down again. She still didn't trust herself to move, simply waiting there until the unhappy sounds her stomach was making calmed down somewhat.

From the corner of her eye, she spied Greg capping his soda again (no doubt to store in his van for later) and dropping his bottle on the ground too. He didn't even hide his next belch, long and loud and slightly hoarse-sounding.

“Whew, that was a good run. Remind me not to challenge Pearl to anything ever again. Damn.”

“I think this goes both ways,” Garnet voiced, sounding slightly disapproving of their actions. “You're both banned from any contests that involve pushing limits. And you two should find a more constructive way to sort out your differences than resorting to excessive competitive drinking.”

“You mean you wouldn't want to see a replay of this with them shotgunning beers instead? Cause hell, I'd be down for that,” giggled Amethyst. Pearl opened her mouth to retort, and instead burped again, bubbly and ominous. She squeezed her eyes shut and simply nodded in agreement to Garnet's request.

“I hope both of you will think twice about doing this again,” Garnet said coolly. “If Rose found out about this, how do you think she'd react?”

She'd either be upset that they were fighting or delighted that she'd get to take care of them both, Pearl would have guessed. But like hell she was going to let Rose see her in this state. Greg groaned, as if in agreement with Pearl's sentiment.

Seemingly satisfied with the nonverbal response, Garnet pulled two vials from her gems, handing one to Greg and one to Pearl.

“Amethyst, we're going. Let these two sort things out.”

Amethyst chortled at the sorry sight of both of them hunched over and groaning, and left with Garnet, explaining how much better it would have been if she'd convinced Greg to set up his video camera equipment.

Greg huffed and squeezed his eyes open, sinking to the ground and leaning back against a rock. “Shit. I'm -urp- I'm really full. I've never been good at these things.”

Pearl wanted to demand why he'd suggested doing such a thing, but all that came out was a sickly burp. He rested a hand against his belly, which was bulging out over his pants, his shirt riding up, slightly.

“Hey. Come... come join me.” Each sentence was punctuated with a soft burp. It took all of Pearl's strength to take a few steps forward, stomach lurching dangerously, and gingerly ease herself down to sit beside Greg, leaning back. She mirrored his action of rubbing her bloated stomach, but all it did was make her feel more queasy, and she breathed shallowly for a few moments before coaxing up another belch, airy and unsettlingly long. If it didn't feel so good to let off some of the pressure she would have found room to just about poof from the shame.

Greg watched her nervously.

“Y-You aren't accustomed to drinking much, huh?”

What was this, small talk?

“No,” she said tightly, shutting her eyes.

“Hey, well, the sick feeling will settle if you just burp. It's how I've avoided throwing up in the past,” Greg confessed. At her confused grunt, he muttered, “Vomiting gives me anxiety attacks. It sucks.”

Well, that much she could relate to, at least. She took a few deep breaths, trying to ignore the ominous grumbling of her belly as it sloshed heavily with soda, sitting against her thighs.

“S-So it'll go away, if I just... b-burp instead?”

At this point, she was willing to try.

“In most cases, yeah.” He patted his stomach and out popped a deep burp. He sighed in relief and then eyed the vial Garnet had handed to him. “Hey, do you know what this is?”

She cracked an eye open and held her own vial up close, removing the cork and sniffing.

“...Tears... from Rose's fountain?” she wondered aloud.

“She's told me about that... said it heals stuff up, like broken gems and stuff?”

“But I don't understand why Garnet gave these two us. My gem certainly isn't cracked, you don't even _have_ one, and – and why would she be carrying around these strange vials of Rose's tears anyway?” Pearl hiccuped. “Ugh. I really don't feel good.”

“Well, you know what they say after you bloat,” Greg said with a strained grin. “Burping all day keeps the throw up away.”

“I have never heard such a vulgar expression in all my life.”

“It's what my uncle used to say,” muttered Greg, rolling his eyes. “Hey, maybe we're supposed to drink this? If it heals physical injuries, it might settle our stomachs too, like antacids.”

“Maybe...” Pearl's tummy gurgled and she hiccuped again. “At this point, I'm willing to try anything.”

“That's the spirit.” He uncapped the tube and then reached over to clink his vial against hers. “Bottoms up,” he said with a weak grin, before tilting the vial back against his lips and beginning to swallow. Pearl looked down at her vial doubtfully, but supposed Garnet wouldn't have left the vials with them if not for a good reason. Assuming they served the purpose that Greg had guessed, she would gladly fit just a little more liquid into her packed belly if it meant it would neutralise the worrying sounds and churning.

She knocked it back and allowed the warm liquid to wash down her throat, instantly easing the soreness from chugging the heavily carbonated soda. It filled her stomach with a certain warmth that reminded her of tea that had been sitting a while, or the steady heat of alcohol (Rose had gotten her to try whiskey once. Never again). The pleasant taste, reminiscent of the rose hip tea she loved so much, was such a pleasant contrast to the overly sweet and bubbly aftertaste of the coca-cola she found herself sighing in relief after swallowing it.

Greg still had half a vial left. “Are you supposed to just knock it back?” he wondered. “I was going to nurse it gradually, you know, see if it needed to be taken in moderation-”

He was cut off by Pearl leaning forward slightly and belching hard into the back of her hand. The silence that followed was only broken by the faint crashing of waves ahead of them.

“You okay?” he asked nervously. “If you're gonna get sick-”

“I'm not-” Pearl stopped and let out another harsh burp, one that seemed to take a great deal of the pressure off. When she was finished, her stomach felt as though it had deflated ever so slightly, and, cheeks stained cerulean with embarrassment, she stared down at her bulging belly instead of facing Greg. “Pardon my... outbursts. I'm not going to get sick.”

“Real convincing, Pearl,” he said dryly. He returned to rubbing his own taut stomach, grunting and letting off a burp, short and loud, that made Pearl flinch. “Woah. Excuse me.”

Pearl exhaled and began to gingerly rub circles into her strained tummy, finding it was a little easier to do so now that she had let go of a great deal of the pressure. She was still bloated, of course, but without the uncomfortable tightness of air it was a lot easier to rub. She let out a stream of softer burps, tucked behind her clenched fist, pressed right up against her lips.

When she was well and truly burped out (she noticed Greg was taking a slower pace, though she assumed this was so not to make himself ill; humans clearly needed to exercise more caution when messing around with their organ capacities) she murmured, “I'm... sorry, for snapping at you earlier. I didn't like that everyone was so concerned about my condition, when all I had done was... burp.”

“Why wouldn't we be concerned?” Greg demanded, interrupted by a croaky belch. “Sorry. They care about you, clearly, and I suppose I do too, to an extent. If you were really ill, you know we could have stopped, right?”

“I wouldn't have. I've always needed to prove something, to entire armies or to one human currently also courting Rose Quartz. I've done far worse than get bloated from drinking soda as fast as I could. I've chased Rose down a battlefield with my left arm hanging by threads, I've had half of my jaw blown off in a grenade attack and still stabbed a gem in the back to save her. It's pretty much drilled into me by now.”

“That's not right,” Greg said, visibly upset. “The... the war, that -urp- Rose has told me about, that's in the past now, you don't need to think about it anymore! Drinking too much soda should be the worst of your pain from now on, you hear?”

“I know that. It's just hard to forget that, sometimes.”

They lapsed into silence, both lost in their own thoughts, before Pearl piped up, “I'm glad Rose didn't see us like this. Getting along, I mean, not just the bloated abdomens. The moment we treat each other with decency she wants us to kiss for her.”

Greg laughed, which bubbled into a burp. “Got that right. Still... it'd be nice for her to comfort us. You know she would.”

Pearl cracked a tired smile.

“No doubt. One time, not even a century after we first arrived on Earth, Rose fed me some mushrooms that clearly weren't intended for consumption, and I...”

 

**Author's Note:**

> so pearl and gregs friendship has really grown on me recently and i'd like to promote that they did eventually get to a point where it was less about hating each other and more about accepting they were in each others lives now, no matter how different they were, and that rose was inevitably going to ask them to do things as an ot3 from time to time so they still have to pretend they got beef (and yes that includes when she's not around. method acting ya know)
> 
> gimme any ideas you have for future kink stuff?? my long-ass summer before university will begin at the end of this week hopefully, so i'll have plenty of time to cook up juicy sin (i ain't doing anything to do with lapis tho, sorry. i refuse.)


End file.
